Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, people from all over the world are making inquiries about Canada. Here are some questions that were actually posted on an international tourism website.
The questions were serious, but obviously the answers are not...
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see polar bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? ( England )
A: No, you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of Europe, while Ca-na-da is that big country directly to your North... Oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? ( USA )
A: Face south, then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here, and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is... Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? ( Germany )
A: No... WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto, and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of like a really big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English in most places I go to? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Hope you kackled today!!
12 comments:
Oh I saw this earlier. Please tell me these questions are a joke! Can we really be that hard to figure out up here??
Thank you for answering all my questions!
Whew! I'm so glad that Sandra Rinomato from HGTV's Property Virgins has taught me about Canada.
Otherwise, I might have asked about the polar bears! Ha!
This is too funny! I will have to share this with all my Canadian friends here, eh?
LOL - That is just too funny! I twittered it. Or should I say "Twittre" since we Canucks like to spell words our own way ie: theatre, centre, metre, litre...! - G
Those are all so funny. I heard very similar questions when I lived in Alaska!
Yep, I saw this somewhere before. It's amazing how some people think.
Thank you for the hearty laugh this morning!
Thanks for the kackle KaLynn!
I definitely kackled. I really liked the answer to the polar bear question. Good stuff.
This is hilarious!
I get questions like this all the time - I live in a somewhat tourist infested (of course I mean driven) town.
The funniest one is "when do we get to Canada?"
Um... if you came from the south you've been in canada for a few days... if you came from the north, you crossed the border about 8 hours ago. PAY ATTENTION! ;o)
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