Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Seasonals

I was in class the other night and we were talking about Seasonal relationships and Lifetime relationships.

I never thought about it like that before.


So here I'ma thinkin' that all those 2.75 marriages I had, were supposed to be Seasonal relationships.

Or we COULD just ignore them. I have a friend (yes, I know, what a concept! Me! having a friend!)(Well actually, I have about, oh, let's see. . 2), ANYways, that we were discussing my marriages. She came up with the idea that since they were all JackA$$es, that makes them INHUMAN. They don't count. OR we could decide by the year we were married in. Leap Year, Not Leap Year. They were all NOT Leap Year. So they don't count. Good enough for me. (But I sure do get weird looks when I say 2.75 marriages. .Which is WAAAYYY fun sometimes)

But back to the SEASONAL thingy. What a blasted concept! I'm tellin' ya! I must say so myself, they got the best end of the deal. Cuz you know I'm soo wonderful. They, on the other hand, handed me a raw deal.  They were not quite as wonderful as me.

Sooo I'm sittin' here tryin' to figure out what I was suppose to get from these 2.75 marriages. What was I suppose to learn, take with me from these relationships (I'm assumin' we are talkin' about something other than my kids), what did I learn?

Here is what I learned:

DON'T DATE JACKA$$ES!

THEY ARE JUST SEASONAL INHUMANS IN YOUR LIFE!
PASS THEM BY!
DO NOT WAVE!
DO NOT SAY HI!
DO NOT ASK HOW THEY ARE!
THEY ARE JACKA$$ES!
YOU DON'T CARE!
DO NOT COLLECT $200!
GO STRAIGHT TO THE NEXT BAR AND ORDER A MARGARITA!
WHY YOU ASK?
BECAUSE YOU JUST LEFT THAT JACKA$$ IN THE DIRT AND DID NOT FALL FOR HIS CUTE SMILE, FLIRTY SMILE, HIS PURTY EYES, NICE BUTT, ETC.
CONGRATULATIONS!
YOU PASSED!


Did you kackle today? It helps chase the blue away!



12 comments:

Ice Queen said...

I'll drink to that!

Menopausal New Mom said...

Oh KaLynn, where were you and this great advice when I was in my 20's !!!! Sure would have saved me a ton of trouble and money!

Matty said...

Yikes. So glad I don't fit this category.

Hey, I gave you a little shout out on my latest post acknowledging the award.

KaLynn said...

IQ-let's make it a double!!

MNM-I was right there with you!! Well, about 7-8 years ahead of you! But I didn't realize this until I was 53! So maybe it will help in the next lifetime!! HEHEHE!

Matty-I'm glad you don't fit either!!

KaLynn said...

Matty-That was a total awesome poem! You are so very talented!

Hey all, Matty got awards, his 100th post and it is his BIRTHDAY! check out his page! Matty Thoughts

Pat said...

Sure, NOW you tell me! Where were you when I married at the ripe young age of 19? HUH? That lasted a whole 7 years till he got the 7 year itch and scratched the SOB. Yeah. Luckily my "current" husband, as I like to call him, and I met a couple of years later and married. He's a great guy.

ModernMom said...

Solid advice!!

Thanks so much for stopping by my blog today. I love discovering new reads and am glad Matty sent you my way!

MilesPerHour said...

I've had 2 marriages and although the women were not jackasses (actually very wonderful people) I guess they would be considered seasonal as well.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Love this post and so glad you found me too!! Consider me a new follower!

Captain Dumbass said...

I promise not to date any jackasses.

Secretia said...

I think that the seasons in our lives are not pre-measured. Then we don't know when they may end.

Secretia

KaLynn said...

Secretia- I think you are right! Some last a long time and some only a few days or months.

Cptn Dumbass-please don't they kick and bite!

Lee-Welcome aboard! Glad you are here!