Friday, October 16, 2009

Blue Bitc-BAT mobile

On Fridays, I get off at noon. COOLsome!! I truly LOVE that part of my job!! Friday afternoons to do as I please and then two more days before I have to be up at 5 am!! WOOHOOO! Total COOLness!!!

Today, I am running down the road at 68 in a 65. I also know that I'm coming up on a section of road that is going to take us down to one lane at 60 so I start slowing down. Not wanting to use the brakes on a highway, I just try to come off the gas. I see I'm coming up on a little SUV. One of the smaller ones. (I drive a '06 Chevy Impala. Let me tell ya that sucker will HAUL too. Love it. Remember this.)

Yes, I ran up on the little SUV. She WAS NOT DOING THE FREAKING SPEED LIMIT! So now I'm braking! The KRAZY *&%$# woman, starts going EVEN SLOWER! By this time she has 6 cars behind me, stacked up. We all just want to get on the highway. She is now telling me to back off with her hand. Ya know the Hand up with all  fingers spread motion to stop? CRAPOLA Lady! I would but you have pretty much come to a freaking stop on the HIGHWAY! We are now down to 38 FREAKIN MILES PER HOUR in a 60! WHAT DOES SHE WANT ME TO DO??? PUSH her car???? OH, EXCUSE ME, her SUV! Blue to boot. This little THANG is HALF THE SIZE OF MY CAR. This THANG is a Little Bitc, (sorry) Batmobile, I mean. The woman driving it a just plain, uh, BATTY.

Needless to say, I'm getting aggravated more by the minute. Past P-worded off. WAAAAAYY past. I'm about to start spitting nails. LARGE NAILS.

We get to the Y. I'm hoping she will go straight. BUT NOOOOOOOO!! She puts her blinker on to turn MY WAY!!! THEN she STOMPS on the brake! GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRR!!! NOT ONCE BUT TWICE!!! And NO! I was not close enough to hit her. Well, not her car anyway. (Remember, I have been riding my brake for 2 freaking miles by this time.)The second time she stops, and continues to sit there with no traffic, I almost threw my car into park so I could go up and bang on her window. Her car I wasn't gonna hit, but she was fast becoming an object for my hand.

Get this picture. I have on Phat Baby boots, jeans, a man's long sleeve T shirt, short hair and am LIVID. I walk like I own the ground I walk/stand on and have a don't mess with me look on my face on a GOOD day look, imagine what I looked like today. . I've taken on husbands, ex-husband's girlfriends, 6'-3' and 5'-6' sons and just don't back down. Pretty much look P-worded EVERYDAY.

Now back to the little woman that is making hand gestures at me from within her vehicle. Can you imagine what she would have done if I had gotten out of my car? Along with all the folks behind us? She must have seen the look on my face because she took off. VERY FAST.I was hoping she would go on down the road. BUT NOOOOOOOOO

She got on the highway alright, but ONLY to get up beside an 18 wheeler and slow down to his speed or  a little less. OK. THAT'S pretty petty. I move BACK behind the 18 wheeler. No reason the other cars, which now total 15,6 of which have been behind us for 4 miles now, to put up with her crapola. She speeds up so they can get by. OF COURSE, she does NOT move to right hand lane. OOOH noooooooooooo. She stays in the inside lane.

So I get in behind about 5 cars/trucks back. I wait until there is one car between us and open road. I pass. Up until then this lady was going about 65 in a 70. That is until she sees me coming up behind her. By the time I pass her, she is up to 75. I really felt like saluting her and telling her she was my # ONE. But then I would have taken myself down to her petty level.I am proud of myself.

I just want to get home.

I looked at my speedometer after I had her in the rear view mirror. 98 mph and I had slowed down. GEEZ. I gotta control my temper a little better in the car. THEN I got the shakes.

I do know where she turned off to go home. I will keep my eye out for her. Do NOT want to be behind her EEEEEEVER AGAIN.WEEEELLLL, maybe pull up beside he rand stay there for a few miles. .

Hope you kackled today.


JennyMac said...

hahaha...I love idiots on the road only for the great posts they inspire. What a NUT she was!

KaLynn said...

Jenny Mac, when this whole thing started I was 3, yes, THREE, car links behind her! There are names for people like her!! =0D

chickadee51 said...

Yes K, and the name is "Dangerous Driver". They are as big, if not a bigger, danger than drunks and speeders. I react like you when I get behind an idiot like that on the highway. Oh, I was getting mad just reading your post. Didn't sound like you were kacklin much this time. Glad you made it home safely.

Anonymous said...

God, you gotta keep up this blog. I laugh and laugh every time I read these. The fat boy with boobs one just kills me and btw: I think your hair is cute!! Silly woman.
Have a great day and drive on, drive on!!

Dutch donut girl said...

It sounds like one hell of a ride :)
Your "PUSH her car" comment made me laugh out loud. I love your blog design!

KaLynn said...

Dear Dutch donut girl,
Thanks! I was hoping somewhere in all that there was a laugh out loud happenin'!!

My son designed this!