Thursday, October 1, 2009

Witchy Workouts

ell hey folks! I’m rather new to this stuff. Oh that is a BIG FAT lie! THIS IS MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT A BLOG! If you will just bear with me, maybe we can have some fun here. I’ve been thinking of this for a while as I run the road to work in the dark of the morning. I live about 30 minutes from my job. (Why you ask? (I KNOW you are asking!) weeell because I have this tiny, tiny house payment. ) So as I run the road, I talk to myself. I listen to the radio. Some days I pray. Some other days I rant all the way to work. Some days it is funny, others, ah, not so much. So I’m going with the flow. . .

A little about me, mother of many, grandmother of few, part time college student, full time office clown, over 50, been married 2 3/4 times, sucker for dogs. What else? I guess that is good enough for now.

BTW my oldest son is the one that has worked up the header and is setting this up.
He wanted to know what I wanted: Purple? Duh, it's my fave. then it was a name. I said can we do something with a witch and a broom, since I get asked if I ride my broom often, though not as often as when I was younger. I thought maybe a little witchy hat over the title, but no! He found something even better! I LOVE my little half witch! If only I was that skinny!! Then my dreams would be fulfilled!! I think my actual thigh is about the size of my half witch’s whole butt (well, if she was real)! So yeah, I have a little bit of a weight issue.
Which, hey, that could be my today’s topic!

My work has offered, to the office folks, a membership to a gym. I’m all gung ho! Well at least today and yesterday. Let see how tomorrow holds up. I’ve already been a Curves member, which I liked just fine but moved away. (Little po dunk towns don’t have Curves) So today we leave work to go work out for an hour or so.

Yesterday it was trying all the ‘girl’ machines, which went very well. So today I thought I would try the treadmill first, since by the time we did the ‘girl’ machines yesterday, the treadmills were full. So here I go. Do you know how to turn ON one of those things????? WHAT? Ask for help? Geez. (I think I have a little too much testosterone) FINALLY I got the dang thing started. Enter weight, age and it figures out how long you need to walk. 30 minutes. Alrighty! Here I go. Okay, not bad, I’m trucking along, let’s speed up. Okay, I’m cool. I'm good. I can do this. Oh yeah, I'm good. When I look around I see everyone else walking without holding on, so I let go of the handles. HELLO! WHERE IS MY BALANCE??? I’M WALKING SIDEWAYS! SIDEWAYS MIND YOU! I’m trying to still look good, so I nonchalantly reach for the sides. Then hold on for dear life! (Oh by the way, did I tell you there are TV’s too. I have no head phones so I can’t hear what is being said but that’s ok. I can hear me breathe, so I know I’m still alive.) So I’m strolling along, and let go again. Cool, I got the hang of it, well, no not really, there I go again, walking to the left corner of the treadmill thingy, who cares if I look cool, GRAB THE BARS!!! I’m beginning to think I’m gonna fall on my butt in front of EVERYONE! Finally after 29 minutes of this, I can turn loose of the bars and walk without walking sideways. I have one more minute, or so I think, FOR PETE’S SAKE, THERE IS COOL DOWN THAT IS FIVE MORE MINUTES!! But it has slowed down from 3.5 mph to 2.8!! WOOHOO! Have you ever tried to walk another ¼ of a mile on rubber legs going 2.8 mph? Forget the walking sideways, just try to stay upright!! Ok. Cool the dang thing has finally stopped! YEA!! Now I can get down and walk over, grab paper towels, cleaner and clean up my sweat from the machine, which looks like someone has already taken a hose and sprayed it down already. So I get off and about fall face first into the wall. Yep, you got it, the rubber legs, really were rubber legs!! Glad there was a wall and a trash can. . . though I must admit I thought for minute I was going to kiss the paper towel holder. I got the towels, and walked back up there and cleaned it and did NOT fall the next time.

I then think I can go ride the dang bicycles. I get on one, set the time for half of everything. Which is probably another 3o minutes. What made me think I could peddle a bike when I can’t walk? I last 1.5 minutes. Stumble off the machine, the little girl next to me asks if I am finished. OH YEAH!! I'm done, I'm gone. I'm outta there before I hit the floor! Now if only I can change clothes and get out of here and drive 30 minutes to home.

Whew! I made it. In case, you didn't know, rubber legs work pretty good when there isn’t 200 pounds weighing down on them.

Hope you Kackled today.


Rabbit said...

Love it! There's a reason I don't exercise in public!!!

Anonymous said...

Hah, this is funny! You oughta take it on the road K!!

GiGi said...

ROFLMAO!!! Sounds just like you!

chickadee51 said...

Nice blog K, funny and made me laugh; like the design too.

Mark said...

K, great job! I think we must have writing in our blood from somewhere. Your's is great. I will add you to my newsletter email list.