Saturday, October 10, 2009

Cubbies, boxes with lids and TVs

Some days I just have a hard time communicating with the opposite sex. My sons included. Though they are  easier than the others. .  (Remember I've been hitched 2.75 times. . ) I've heard it said that male brains and female brains just do not run the same circuit. Hmmmmm. . Reminds me of one of the days I was  chattin' with THE BOSSMAN and we got on the subject of men thinkin' vs. women thinkin'. The way we got on this subject was I had been in there yappin', yappin', yappin' and kept switchin' subjects pretty rapidly. (Ya know kinda like I do here only worse, because my mouth runs faster than my fingers. .)

Finally, he told me to slow down and tell me WHAT I was talkin' about. (Sigh, hmph. ) I started to repeat it (all over again), and after subject ONE, he said STOP. I replied, WHAAT? (I have a super wonderful boss who laughs at me daily, sometimes hourly. .then other times not so much. .)  He said 'I have to get that box out'. I said, 'WHAT box?' (Here I'm trying not to look around the office, ya know trying to figure out what in the world he is talking about! What box? There aren't any boxes around here! Has this man lost his mind? You know all this thoughts are runnin' 1000 mph in my head.)
He grins and says, "Us guys have a box for everything in it's own slot, like a cubby hole, in our head. Football has a box, baseball has a box, wives have a box with LOTS of little boxes inside, work has a box with little boxes in it too. Get the picture? So I have to pull my box out that concerns what you are talking about in it and open the lid and look inside. THEN when we finish talking, I have to put the lid back on and replace it in the wall." Sooo I'm guessing that men's minds are one GIGANTIC CUBBY!! Like MASSIVE. . ENORMOUS. . (No wonder he looks  at me most days that I have landed from a different planet! I have done gone off and left him in the Cubby Room! I'm walkin', walkin', walkin', did anyone see that little green gecko? )(There I go again, Different TV. .)

GEEZ! I'm thinkin' that this takes TONS of time. . No wonder they can't keep up with us women!!

Us women, on the other hand, have a GIGANTIC, MASSIVE, ENORMOUS WALL OF TV'S!!! And at  any given time we have to KNOW what is on EVERY FREAKIN' ONE OF THEM!!

Take MOTHERHOOD for example, a Mother of one child does not as many TV's as a mother of 5. A mother of 5 has a different set of TV's for EACH child, then one set for Hubby, then a set for each friend, depending on how close the friendship is determines how many tv's for a friend. Then you have the JOB THAT PAYS MONEY set of Tv's.(Cuz all us women KNOW that Motherhood is a JOB in and of itself. We are paid with Love instead of the greenback). Depending on how many 'hats' you wear at work as to how many tv's you have.
Get the drift here? And at any given point in time, you will have to pass the quiz of what is happening on ONE particular Tv. Wwhether you be at work or at home, the QUIZ jumps all boundaries!

So my brain is forever 'flittin' across this wall of tv's. Which is why I change subjects very often and come back to a previous conversation like we have never left it in the first place, because, you see, all I have done is put it on PAUSE. And as soon as the QUIZ is over, back I race to our conversation. Simple, right? All you ladies out there know exactly what I'm talking about, huh? (And NO we are not ADHD, we just have LOTS of tvs on!)

So it finally clicked, on the TV in my Upper Right Corner At The Very Top, ya know the one that is the fartherest from the front line in MY mind, The MAN TV. (Especially since I have put all men in the OBSCURE and OBSOLETE section of my life. They are a PIA, too much trouble, and I just plain don't want to deal with them right now. Maybe later. (Ya know I try to not say NEVER anymore because invariably what ever I swear off of will appear in my life the next day.) So for now. . no hassles, no men. (Don't ya just love the thoughts inside the thoughts?? ))

Now back to the men and their boxes. This is the way I see it, MEN have to STOP, FIND THE BOX, PULL IT OUT OF THE CUBBY HOLE, PUT IT IN HIS LAP, LOOK ONCE AGAIN TO MAKE SURE HE HAS THE RIGHT BOX, SET IT DOWN AGAIN, THEN  TAKE THE LID OFF, F-I-N-A-L-L-Y LOOK INSIDE. OOOOO but he hasn't EVEN got the subject OUT of the box yet!! He can't just LOOK in the box, he has to TAKE IT OUT to LOOK at it!! AND the more he REALLY doesn't want to deal with whatever is in the box, the SLOWER HE IS AT GETTING THE BOX READY. . Think about a man changing a baby diaper. . or fixing something YOU want fixed. BUT have the football game, boxing, wrestling or some such thing come on tv and see how fast that box appears. (I see it's clicking with you ladies now.)

So guys, don't get so p-worded off when we talk to you like you are morons when you are taking your own sweet  time getting into your box. . You have brought it on yourselves because you see, I KNOW, you KNOW  that we are light years ahead of you in the thinkin' area. .We have already looked, retreived data and made decisions on 900 MILLION tvs while you DEAL with that ONE box. That is why we can feed a baby, have supper cookin', know what the two other kids are doing in the living room, talk on the phone, make a grocery list, set the table and have laundry goin' all at once. We MULTI TASK 36 HOURS A DAY, 9 DAYS A WEEK, 370 DAYS A YEAR. .


Hope you kackled today.

P.S. Guys don't get your boxers all in a wad, I really love ya, well ,some of you anyway, very few of you in fact but anyway, I'm just picking on you today. It is all in fuuuuun!! Hugs and Kisses. .sorta


Anonymous said...

This is all well and good if you remember to turn ON the TVs every once in a while...

I, A-typically typical for me, have the TV wall - all on full blast and speaking in Rabbitese with my inner Tweaker going street-rat-crazy with the dag-blasted remote control - AND the wall of cubbies that have all been upended and dumped about on the floor...

No. Hope.

Anonymous said...

It is truly great! You really are gifted in writing.

Anonymous said...

I found your blog to be great. You have a good scope on life and men I'll be back to read more.

chickadee51 said...

Well I didn't know I watched all those TV's all the time, but it sure does make sense and explains a lot. Love ya!