Fat boy with boobs

I've been threatening to shave my head. I don't like my hair. I really haven't liked my hair since I cut it last year. I cut 14 inches off. (Actually, I must not have liked my hair then either, or I wouldn't have cut it, right?) Well, I gave that measley bit of hair to the hair for cancer thing. So it was a good cause. It probably took up a huge amount of space on the wig, about a whole 3" x 3" square on it. Or maybe they used it to fill in the bald spots on the wig. (I have baby fine hair, which means it won't do diddly, so it would HAVE to be mixed in with some OTHER hair that actually works.)

(FLASHBACK) When I was a kid, I used to pray for curly hair. Prayed hard too. I think some of those were Bended Knee prayers.  But every morning, I got up and looked in the mirror. Nope, no answer yet. Just straight mousey brown hair. PhOOeY! I finally just gave up the prayer.


Did you know that sometimes it takes MANY, MANY, MANY, MANY years for a prayer to be answered? In my case it took almost 40 years for it to be answered and not at all like I asked for either. Oh, I now have waves and curly q's, don't get me wrong. It's just not uniform. The curly q's are in my bangs. Well, only on one side. The other side hangs straight AS A BOARD. Then on one side of my head (ya know the sides over your ears) on the opposite side of the squirly q bangs, will flip. The other side waves toward the back of my head. (Like is there someone behind me that I need to be waving at? Do I have a stalker?)  Some days it parts on the left side and others it parts down the middle still others it parts on the right side. Then sometimes, it just doesn't part in a straight line. I never know when I turn my head over what is going to be staring at me in the mirror. Well, besides the wrinkly old woman. She is ALWAYS there. And usually NOT smilin' either. She still needs more coffee.

So Wednesday afternoon, I call my little hairdresser for an appointment. Told her I need to get a shave because I had butchered my hair. She knows I do this and has decided there is nothing to do but laugh. She works me in. I know she is dreading seeing what mess I have come up with this time. Though MY cuts are not as bad as when I have asked someone else to 'help' me. One time I didn't think I could get the back of my hair straight, so I asked for 'help'. One side was almost 2 inches shorter than the other. Won't do that again. .

So anyways, I print a picture out of what I 'kinda' want and then what my hair REALLY does in the morning before I add all the volumnizer stuff, wax, hair spray, etc. to make it look like I just fell out of bed and came to work. Then on the 30 minute drive to work it undoes all my hard work and ends up looking like hell anyway. So some days I just say what the hay (cain't print what I REALLY say) and I just don't bother. Good thing I'm behind a closed and locked door, huh? No customers to see. I'd probably scare them off most days. Instead I go to school two mornings a week and look right at home with the kids that REALLY did just fall out of bed and came to school!!

Now back to the hair cut, don't get me wrong, it is a cute cut, very cute cut, and most folks love it but the way I see myself with short hair is this: I LOOK LIKE A FAT BOY WITH BOOBS. Especially if I do not wear makeup, fix my hair or if I wear my glasses instead of my contacts. SOOOOO this means EVERY FREAKIN' DAY I HAVE TO GET UP AND PUT MAKEUP ON AND FIX MY HAIR. GEEZ, could life get more complicated first thing in the morning? I just want coffee, a shower and to get dressed and leave for work. Leave me alone until then. NOW I have to make that FAT BOY WITH BOOBS in the mirror look like a girl. What a freakin' nightmarish of a job for first thing in the morning and IT ISN'T EVEN DAYLIGHT YET.

This took ALL day to get it to look this good. IN THE DAYLIGHT. With coffee. GEEEEZ.

May go back to the witchy look and ride my broom to work.


Hope you kackled today.