When I was in high school, I had a friend that drove a red jeep. I loved to ride in that jeep. Wind in my face, whether going fast or slow. Sitting in the seat or hanging by one hand out the side (much to the dismay of my friend). She was forever telling me to get my butt back in the seat. Her dad loved me. Have no clue why because, as they used to say: I was a rounder. Thumb on the nose, laugh in your face, kinda gal.
I was pretty much tempting fate with whatever I did.
In fact, that is pretty much my life story. I like to feel the wind (of course, I want to have what ever I am on touching the ground). Flying, hang gliding, parachuting, none of those are quite what I have in mind when I want to feel the wind on my face. Nor is the swaying tower at Six Flags (makes me want to lose breakfast, lunch and everything I ate YESTERDAY!). I want to be CLOSE to the ground when I feel the wind. (Along with not liking water, I also do not like heights (in case I did not already make this perfectly clear).)
I used to think I was big enough and bad enough to take on anything and anyone. I was not scared of much. (Well, except horses that do not understand what WHOA! or pulling backwards on the reins is suppose to mean.) So I barrelled through life tempting fate more than the average person. You know the saying 10 feet tall and bulletproof? Tough as nails? That was my attitude. I swung from the rafters of life whenever I could. Sometimes it made my shoulders ache but I just figured I needed to do it a little more often to strengthen those muscles. So on I continued.
Now, to some extent, this is a good attitude to have when you are a single mom of 4. Two boys, two girls (with one girl a tomboy,a tomboy that hung in there with the guys.) Geez, those kids drove me nuts!! War zone for 15 years! We all have battle scars from those years.
Back in '99, there was a wake up call. Ya know, one of those "Holy Cow! I'm Lucky To Be Alive!" calls? The one that you think "I'm gonna die today" calls. One that I pretty much ignored. Though it did change my life. Only I went downhill, instead of uphill. This continued on for a couple of years. THEN the calls returned. Full force. I had had a few calls along the line with each one getting louder, louder and LOUDER. But this last time, it was not to be ignored. It was one of those, HELLO! CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? kind of calls. (Can you tell I watch commercials and listen to music?) This was one of those "If you ignore me this time, there is no telling if you will survive the next time" kinda calls. (I have a hard head, kinda stubborn, obstinate. I know for those of you who have known me for years, this is kinda hard to believe. But it is true. Really. (The Good Lord has known this for a LOOOOONG time.))
For the most part, I recognized this last call. Nowdays, I pretty much don't risk my life and those around me anymore. But some days I just want to ride that Red Jeep of Life. Be carefree, feel the wind in my face, hanging by one hand AND NOT HAVE SOMEONE TELL ME TO GET MY BUTT BACK IN THE SEAT!
I know, I have many, many Angels taking care of me daily. They are in for a hard time trying to earn their wings. Even when I try to be good, because it just doesn't happen for very long at any given time. It's just not in the jeans.